The opposite world

Characters: Two men, one named James. Don’t know the other’s – lets call him Ken

Occasion: Pure and innocent eavesdropping from my part

 

Ken: You know what James?

James: Yeah?

Ken: We are not doing anything

James: No?

Ken: I mean we work and all that but that’s not anything. Everyone does it

James: Hmm

Ken: We have to do something more

James: We do?

Ken: Yeah. To, you know, change this world

James: Oh

Ken: Yeah

James: What’s on your mind?

Ken: I am thinking we will change the whole system

James: Oh?

Ken: Yeah like how it works now – we will reverse it

James: How do you mean?

Ken: For instance, we will let women work while we stay home

James: What?

Ken: Yeah. And we will let animals eat humans

James: What??

Ken: Hm I am running out of ideas but you get the picture. We will aim at “the opposite”

James: One question. Why?

Ken: To change the world man

James: Again. Why?

Ken: You don’t like it?

James: No

Ken: Not one bit?

James: Not one bit

Ken: Hmm maybe you have a point

James: I think I do

Ken: Maybe we can drop the animals thing

James: We sure can

Ken: But the women thing? That too?

James: It’s not that bad. I think I can get used to not waking up early and going to work

Ken: I think I can too

James: Would it be boring?

Ken: There will be a lot to do

James: Like?

Ken: Thinking. Men are great thinkers you know

James: Yeah. And we will keep it that way? No reversing the world of thinking?

Ken: Na. I like thinking

James: Yeah. Me too. Its kind of easy.

Ken: Comes natural I’d say.

James: Yeah

Ken: Yeah

He, She - strangers in a room

Intro: As told me by a friend. Cant trust it to be the truth and nothing but the truth, friend having shown signs of undue exaggeration in the past, especially when it comes to deals with women!

Scenario (as he wanted written): A He and a She stuck in a place together – both strangers.

She: Ok we have sat for an hour not talking and pretending to look at magazines
He (Seriously engrossed in a calvin n hobbes strip): Eh?
She: I said it was time we acknowledged each other
He: Eh
She: Look we will have to spend at least 2 hours more together. And I don’t know who I should yell at for that. But now that we are here, we better talk
He: Ehhh
She: Oh my God, don’t tell me you have absolutely nothing to talk about!
He: Emm
She: Alright alright fine you have proved your point. You don’t want to talk. Fine. But just don’t start humming again please
He: Err
She: God is there anything you can pronounce without an ‘eh’?
He: I wasn’t humming
She: Oh?
He: I was trying to talk
She: Not quite your best talk was it?
He: Can I have another chance? I was trying to ask you for a long time…
She: No… I mean this is not about chance. We are just 2 different people stuck together and we don’t have a single thing to talk about! Talk of luck!
He: Hmm
She: There are so many people in this world. And look who had to come together
He: I…
She: This is an unfair world I knew it all along
He: Yea but do you…
She: And it is most unfair to – guess who? Me! Me of all the creatures!
He: I have to ask…
She: And you just want to talk talk talk! You cant stand letting me talk for a bit can you? No all you men are the same. No one wants to listen!
He: Oh…
She: Don’t oh-me!
He: Ok but can I ask just one thing? I promise you can do all the talking after that.
She: Alright what?
He: Do you know where the bathroom is?

Why you shouldnt be honest to women!

Intro: As narrated to me by John, a friend. he asked me to name this Why you shouldn’t be honest to women. Don’t like the title, but owe the story to him! Hmph! And his other choice was "How women can be so persistently annoying"!!!

Characters: John, Anu
Scenario: Watching a TV channel.

Anu: I can’t be a reporter
John: Why not?
Anu: I have a bad face
John: Oh yeah
Anu: What do you mean oh yeah?
John: Mm what did you mean when you said bad face?
Anu: I meant bad as in ugly
John: I mean oh as in oh and yeah as in yeah
Anu: Meaning you agree
John: With what?
Anu: That I am ugly
John: Oh I didn’t think of that
Anu: Which means you do
John: Of course not
Anu: Then?
John: I meant oh yeah a reporter essentially calls for a good face
Anu: So you think I don’t have one?
John: I didn’t say that
Anu: Which means its bad?
John: Not entirely
Anu: Not entirely? What kind of word is that?
John: Entirely like in wholly or completely or totally
Anu: Thanks a lot!
John: Sure anytime
Anu: You have come to my home, called me ugly, insulted me and act like you have done me a favour
John: I have?
Anu: Lets conclude this the easy way. Choose one word for me- Good or bad, I don’t want to hear anything else
John: Good
Anu [cheering up]: Really? You really think I look good?
John: I said you are a good person
Anu [cheering down]: Cut out that crap! Looks! Good or bad???
John: Emm
Anu: Good or Bad! Now!
John: Between
Anu: Huh?
John: Its in between, its not good but its not ugly
Anu: Not good?! You said not good?! To my face?! Oh my God! I cant believe anyone can be so mean!
John: And I cant believe I stuck to my new year resolution so hard!
Anu: what resolution?
John: Not to lie and...
Anu: What?
John: Actually listen to women!

Everyone is abnormal

Characters and background:
Two men, T and P, lying down on park, facing the sky. T has his hands behind his head, P is trying to get some shut-eye.

Script

T: You know, I think everyone with domestic problems have this craving to have a normal life somewhere, somehow. At school or college or office or anywhere outside home.
P: Mm. And normal people don’t like it?
T: Nope. Their life is so normal and dull, they think they need some excitement in life, some action. So they try to go wild with it after a few years and go to the other extremes.
P: Like drinking?
T: Yup. Drinking, smoking, drugs, girls.
P: Come on man, girls aint that bad.
T: Hmm easy for you to say P. You don’t have one. But my point is they go after the abnormal.
P: Ok so what are you?
T: I am thinking. I wonder which is better. Cause when you don’t have problems, you go and find them or else you already have them
P: I guess it changes from one generation to the other. You come from a problematic house, you go seek normal life but the next generation, your kids will be bored and go get abnormal
T: Exactly P. In the end, it comes down to this: everyone is abnormal - either you are born that way or you grow up to be! Life sucks!
P: I kinda like it
T: Like what?
P: Life.
T: Huh? After all that sick normal and abnormal stuff, you still like it?
P: Yeah and what would you prefer? A grave and a tombstone?
T: Hmm well when you put it that way
P: Yeah
T: Guess life is alright
P: Yup
T: Hmm